girl hugging baby doll by Sarah Rypma
Aisha (ra) was noted to play with dolls. Aisha reported: I used to play with dolls in the presence of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and my girlfriends would play with me. When the Messenger of Allah would enter, they would hide themselves but he would call them to join me and play with me. Source: Sahih Bukhari 5779
Aisha (ra) stands out as a model wife and is often noted as being Prophet Mohammed's (pbuh) favourite and therefore worthy of close study of the qualities that made her such. A popular fact about Aisha (ra) is that she played with dolls. The purpose of hadiths are to transmit the sunnah for the benefit of mankind down through the ages. “Whosoever followed the Messenger, has indeed followed Allah.” (Surah an-Nisa, 80) What can we learn from a hadith describing a young girl at play? Doll play is more than a fun pass-time for little girls. It has multiple developmental and psychological benefits. Pretending allows a child to practice looking at things from other perspectives. According to Harvard developmental psychologist Paul Harris, PhD, the thought processes involved in roll-play require children to make predictions about others actions and thoughts. Conventional theories of play therapy study how it affects cognitive skills, language, nurturing, managing environment and emotions. An examination of Aisha's (ra) life and trials through the lens of play therapy can teach us many practical life lessons that we can reflect upon and emulate today.Nurturing
Perhaps an obvious aspect of playing with dolls is that it develops nurturing. By carrying, holding, feeding, and rocking a baby doll, children are practising being loving to others. We can imagine Aisha and her friends modelling how they were taken care of by their mothers. Aisha's mother Umm Rooman, was a beautiful example of motherhood. Muhammad 'Ali Qutb's book Women Around the Messenger discusses several historically documented accounts of her good character such as her delight and acceptance of her daughter's betrothal to our Prophet (pbuh), her wisdom in nursing Aisha back to health by feeding her cucumber and fresh dates, and the way she stood by her daughter during the time of slander. We see in this mother of four someone who was patient, nurturing and knew when to speak and spoke wisely. Aisha certainly practised reflecting her mother's good character later in life. Az-Zhuri said “The first person to remove distress from the people and explain to them the Sunnah regarding that was Aisha”.
Language
As
for language skills, the roll play between dolls and children expands
and extends children's vocabulary. There is an easy and organic flow
and exchange of words and their meaning as girls verbally interact
with each other through the play of their dolls. This practise not
only enriches vocabulary, it also encourages dialogue useful for
building on more sophisticated discourse as the child matures.
Az-Zhuri said “If Aisha's knowledge is compiled and compared to the
knowledge of all women her knowledge will surely excel theirs”.
Aisha
is known for narrating 2210 hadiths on matters related to the
Prophet's private life, as well as topics such as inheritance,
pilgrimage and destiny. She passed on her knowledge through several
avenues. Her intellect and knowledge in various subjects, including
poetry and medicine, were highly praised by early luminaries such as
al-Zhuri and her student Urwa ibn al-Zubayr. Urwah
ibn al-Zubayr ibn al-'Awwam al-Asadi, Aisah's nephew, was
among the seven jurists who formulated the fiqh of Medina in the time
of the Tabi'in and one of the Muslim historians.
According
to Virginia Axline, child centered play therapy focuses on the child,
not on the child’s presenting problem. The child has a chance to
follow their own emotional health and work through any problem
solving thereby affording the child a sense of control. During the
time of slander, Aisha endured very real emotional upset. She knew
that anything she said in honesty or if she were to admit an untruth,
there would be no recompense of belief in her words alone. Her
thought in her time of sorrow and great need was to turn to Allah.
So
now, if 1 tell you that 1 am innocent, and Allah knows that 1 am
innocent, you will not believe me; and if 1 confess something, and
Allah knows that I am innocent of it, you will believe me. By Allah,
1 cannot find of you an example except that of Joseph's father: 'So
(for me) patience is most fitting against that which you assert and
it is Allah (Alone) Whose help can be sought.'
Our
Prophet (pbuh) then received a revelation that unconditionally proved
Aisha's innocence. So Allah revealed, 'Verily! Those who
spread the Slander are a gang among you. Think it not...' And what
did Aisha do? She didn't run to her husband to thank him for his
forgiveness, she reserved her thanks for Allah.
Don't
Stop Playing
Axline
wrote, “Non-directive counseling is really more than a technique.
It is a basic philosophy of human capacities, which stresses the
ability within the individual to be self-directive” (Axline, 1947;
pg. 26).
Play
is not just for kids; it is an important source of relaxation and
stimulation for adults as well. Playing with your romantic partner,
friends, co-workers and children is a sure way to fuel your
imagination, creativity, problem-solving abilities, and emotional
well-being. Physical play releases endorphins which provide an
overall sense of well-being as well as temporary pain relief. There
are reports about Aisha playing and watching games with Prophet
Mohammed (pbuh).`A’ishah reported that she accompanied the Prophet in a travel when she was still slim. The Prophet told people to move forward and then he asked `A’ishah to race with him. They had a race and `A’ishah won. In a later travel, when `A’ishah had forgotten the race and had already gained weight, the Prophet told her to race with him again. She declined, “How can I race with you while I am in such a condition?” The Prophet insisted and they did have a race. The Prophet won this time. He laughed then and said, “tit for tat”. (Authenticated by Al-Albani)
The benefit of friendly competition
includes accountability and motivation to help someone achieve goals.
The close relationship Aisha had with our Prophet (pbuh) allowed for a
support system perhaps to keep her motivated to stay healthy. Today
we are encouraged to have “exercise buddies” someone who will be
a support to us and whom we can support in the mutual goal of physical
health. Thinking of your competition as a resource instead of a rival
creates meaningful victories that are satisfying in the long run.
Notice that Aisha was given a choice as
to whether she would like to view the play fighting or not. When
Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) sensed that she may be tired, he again gave
her the choice to spectate or not. Aisha could practice
self-determination in both instances. She could also enjoy the tactics involved in battle vicariously and learn in a non-threatening way what combat was about. The human capacity to be
self-directed expresses itself in the joy of play. The good feeling
that you get from playing and laughing stays with you even after play
time has ended. Play and laughter help us keep an optimistic outlook
through disappointment and loss.
The hadith describing
Aisha playing with dolls seems very strange on the surface. It points
out a particularly obvious and seemingly mundane fact. I posit that
we should remember one thing: Islam is a very practical religion, and
a science. Hadiths often show us the tip of the iceberg. What the
Ansar may have understood from the hadith, an entire field of
psychology endeavors to understand today. Although we cannot go back
in time to live and understand like the Ansar did, we can certainly
make attempts to see through our modern lens with all our logic and faith to contemplate a truly
universal and human meaning beyond the tip of the iceberg.
References:
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