Vice-regent

When I first began learning about Islam (and I have a lot more to learn) I noticed certain themes repeat themselves. A scrap paper floated to the top of my notes this morning. I had jotted down several words: Light, Victory, Rewards, Submission, Amiableness, Smiling, Knowledge. These mysterious pearls coaxed me to dive deep, hold them and examine them, to see their beauty close up.

While sitting on my balcony aka my contemplation platform with my morning tea, I thought about a conversation with my work colleague. He was watching a philosopher on YouTube and began to speak about it's content. The conversation eventually turned to his new girlfriend. They both graduated as social workers just this spring. After the congratulations and usual etiquette he opened up to me. There was a problem he is struggling with. She has an eating disorder. As the conversation evolved we tried to get to the root of this problem. We discussed body dysmorphia and family dynamics like daddy issues. He compared his upbringing to hers and said he always felt supported by his family. She constantly puts herself down and compares herself to her older sister. Her mother tries to correct her thinking by telling her it's not true and mentions her accomplishments. Although she has been to counseling for her disorder, she insists on eating 800 calories a day. When I asked what he was doing to help her, he said he wasn't sure what to do. He is already careful with his words and worries that childbearing will be a problem for her.

I checked my phone this morning to find an hadith waiting for me:

An Nasal

It was narrated that Anas bin Malik said “We were with the messenger of Allah on a journey, and some of us were fasting and some of us were not. We made a stop on a hot day and looked for shade. Those who were fasting fell to the ground, but those who were not fasting got up and watered the animals. The Messenger of Allah said “Those who were not fasting today have taken the reward”.”

(Sahih)

Alhamdulillah this hadith spoke directly to yesterday's conversation. His girlfriend is fasting for the wrong reasons. It is hurting herself and hurting her ability to live her life properly. Her disorder is making her weak in more ways than one. Luckily she has help in her boyfriend who is not fasting and has the strength to help. He is on a voyage along with her and luckily his training in social work will give him tools to heal their relationship and set sail. With his support she will stand up and water the animals inshallah. It's a beautiful thing and a gift to be strong enough to help others.

It's true we are all tested in this life. We feed off what our family, friends and society tell us. Sometimes we define ourselves through negativity. We begin to reflect what has been given to us. If that mirror points at shaytan we begin to reflect badly. What if our family, friends and society told us a different story? What if the story was good, fantastic even? We can give back to the ummah by encouraging the good - the fantastic even - and it doesn’t have to be complicated. Look in the mirror and smile. Smile at someone and see what happens. People can tell in your voice that you are smiling at them so try that over the phone and see what happens. If that mirror can be adjusted to the correct angle, it can reflect the pearl that is deep inside your ocean.