Self Image and Islam

FITRA

Fitra, or fitrah (Arabic فطرة), is an Arabic word meaning ‘disposition’, ‘nature’, ‘constitution’, or ‘instinct’.The word fitrah comes from the Arabic radicals fa ta ra.The root action means, he clove, split, slit, rent or cracked it. The term fitrah literally means, creation; the causing a thing to exist for the first time; and the natural constitution with which a child is created in his mother’s womb. It is for this reason that Muslims prefer to refer to those who embrace Islam as reverts rather than converts, as it is believed they are returning to a perceived pure state.

Babies don't have a problem with self image. They have milk from their mother because they're hungry and they don't care what anyone thinks about their crying and attempts at the breast. They feel themselves become stronger and are up for a new challenge. Time to crawl! Yes they mushed their nose on the carpet a hundred times and even went backwards for a while but do they give up? Nope. They master crawling and time for a new challenge. Up they go on two legs. Do they listen or care about their family chasing after them saying no no be careful baby you're going to fall! Absolutely not. They motor and they love it.

Look at the amazing way we started out, our natural instinct to strive for whatever we wanted to accomplish and succeed at it. As life would have it, things begin to change. Our natural state becomes altered by negative talk and ideas which we integrate to become our self image.

You're weak, you're ugly, you're stupid. These ideas repeated over and over extract us from our primordial human instincts and oppress us. There is a lot of discourse on the negative effects that media has on self image and we've all been reading that for years. We usually nod in agreement and move on passively. Less often do we reflect on what we have internalized from our own upbringing and childhood experiences. Where is our own self esteem and self image at these days?

I'm reminded of the story of Abdullah Ibn Masud and Julaybib. Both Abdullah and Julaybib had similar tests in life. Abdullah was slight of build and short. Julaybib was a dwarf as well as “deformed”. Imagine where their self esteem and self image could have led them. Instead, because of the teachings and guidance through Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) their stories are beautiful and noble and heroic. Abdullah successfully fought in the battles of Uhud, Battle of the Ditch and Tabuk. He killed Abu Jahl, a warrior famous for his slaughter of countless Muslims. He is considered the 8^th most prominent transmitter of hadiths. He also held a trusted position of treasurer in government. Julaybib was married to the most beautiful pious woman of her tribe and fought alongside the Prophet (pbuh) and died in battle beside 7 enemies he had slain beforehand.

Both men are amazing examples of what the reminder of our original disposition can do in our lives.

THE COOLNESS OF OUR EYES

Children need help internalizing strength to fight against negative programming. If we begin with our children and teach them to internalize a strong, positive self image, they will lead themselves to success and also be able to lead others.

Words – positive beliefs, patience and encouragement. It's easy i can do it. This will develop intrinsic motivation in your child.

Actions – they will copy your actions so want for the ummah what you want for yourself. Offer your child activities they can enjoy and be successful in. Have fun and play with your kids.

Habits – kids can smell hypocrisy a mile away. They see the world through different eyes than we do and will catch contradictory behaviours. Think about the teachers you had when you were younger. Which ones did you have the most respect for? The ones who were consistent and whose actions matched their words. How can we stay consistent, avoid hypocrisy and teach our children through example? Design your epic day. We're not looking to be perfect but we are looking for our routine to be orderly and reproducable.

CALL TO ACTION

• take a few minutes to imagine what your ideal day would look like
• make a list of the activities that would be in your ideal day
• start tracking how you currently spend your days. Once you start tracking your time and become conscious you'll be stunned how internally conflicted you are
• You can't want it because someone else wants it for you, you have to want it for yourself. Begin to redevelop that intrinsic motivation we are all born with.

Here is an example of a daily routine:

7–8 hours of deep and healthy sleep.

• Conscious eating, which includes healthy and simple foods. At least one meal each day is eaten with family.

• 30–60 minutes of exercise.

• 30 minutes of prayer

• 1–2 hours of engaged learning.

• 3–5 hours of undistracted writing

• 2+ undistracted hours playing with my kids (no smartphone).

• 1+ undistracted hours one-on-one with a significant other (no smartphone)
  

Once you have your own routine set and going smoothly, sit down with your kids and have a discussion about their “epic” day. Ask them what their dreams are and check what goals are most important to them. At this point it's important to listen and understand what their choices are and where the motivation is coming from. Help them to choose one goal to achieve and a time line for it to be achieved.

It can become easy to have good intentions yet not follow through on your plans. One of my goals for this year is to get healthy. To me this means a healthy mindset, healthy eating, weight loss and exercise. Two things have been invaluable to my striving for success. One is the best friend a woman could ever have inspiring me through Islam and encouraging me like a boss. The second is my accountability app MyFitnessPal. Tracking calories and daily exercise shows you real time actions and keeps you honest with yourself.

https://exist.io/blog/habit-apps/

check out the above link for some apps that will help you track your habits and goals.

Our innate nature, what we were born with, is that we are all fearless warriors. Seek what is good and powerful about yourself and strive to present it to the world. Share your knowledge, share your unique abilities, never give up because the world needs more of what you have.