When Death Comes Knocking

It's a scary thing to thinking about for most of us. We live our lives, we hope, we pray and try and enjoy our natural surroundings especially in our fantastic but all too short summer. Then something unexpected happens. Something we never imagined. Something we keep far from our minds. Death touches a friend or family member.

When someone has been sick for a long time, with cancer or some other disease, we are prepared. When we face the sudden death of a youth we are not. Today I visited my son. Before I could walk into the office, the director pulled me aside. “Can I speak to you privately for a minute?”. I walked away from my car a little apprehensive about what I was going to hear. Maybe my son got into a fight, maybe he needed stitches...

“One of our volunteers had a fatal car crash last night...he's on life support...they're pulling the plug this morning”. So many thoughts and questions flooded my mind as I made sincere condolences to him. He continued the story about Charlie. He was a graduate of the program and volunteered to give back to the organization that turned his life around. They just hired him on 2 weeks ago and now...he was dead. Twenty-two years old. My eyes became watery. I steadied myself and asked how well my son knew him. All the time thinking rapidly about what state I was going to find my boy in.

At that moment I heard my son's voice calling “Mom”. I turned to see him in a black tank top and grey sweats. We hugged and sat down at a picnic bench.

My son wasn't crying or angry. He wanted to talk, to tell me about Charlie. I listened as he described a youngish looking boy with glasses and dirty blonde hair in a “swoop”. Maybe I'd seen him the last time I was there. He told me how he'd known Charlie for 2 months. Every day they would have a talk. They were friends. Charlie had done 24 hours straight at the organization and hadn't slept. My son recalled to me how he sat with Charlie and another friend last night before Charlie left. “Mom, there is something that's really bugging me...I told him he was too tired to drive last night. I said 'you've been up for 24 hours why don't you just stay here and sleep”. Charlie said: “I used to stay up for 24 hours straight back in the day, It's fine I'm used to it”. My son replied with “ But this isn't back in the day”. Charlie left with those words, making his decision to head out.

Grief is a strange place to be. I suggested that all our lives are already written, that God decided it was his time. My son amazed me with the words “Charlie had come full circle. He recovered, he had 2 scholarships and had a job here. He made amends with his father. He completed what he had to do.” He didn't blame himself or think that he could have stopped Charlie's death. He accepted it.

“Work for your life as though you will live forever, and work for the Hereafter as though you will die tomorrow”

- Prophet Mohammed (SAWA)